A Guy To Guy Talk
by The Wrath of Procrastination
Summary: Mokuba is curious. Very curious. About certain words he heard in school from higher batches. And who else to ask when in doubt? Your big brother…and friends! PG for some terms..hehe
1. If I Knew What These Meant

**Disclaimer:** I do not own YuGiOh. Or for that fact, anything at all. Not even my stuff. My uncle WILL sell that stuff to Ebay when I fall asleep. Damn insurance policies.

**Summary**: Mokuba is curious. Very curious. About certain words he heard in school from higher batches. And who else to ask when in doubt? Your big brother…and friends!

**Rating:** _PG 13. For those who don't know much about health vocabulary, stop and go back. Find some weird stories that feature elves and their happy spell-casting days. Have a nice day! _

**A/N:** Alrighty, this is my first fic that involves HUMOR only. And just to warn you, their will be hints of Tea bashing. And some other bashing too… Hehe…

I do not take flaming. I take good constructive criticism and reviewing.

ENJOY! R&R!

**P.S.** Just to warn you, there are some random names included here. You'll know when you read it. And I decided not to make it a oneshot. Thriller XD

A Guy To Guy Talk, Mokuba Kaiba's POV:

"Mokuba! Let's go!" I heard someone scream at me from afar. It was my bestfriend Lucchi. Me and Lucchi go way back. Way back. Although not that back, just back enough. It was recess at school and Friday's were good days to get some Western food. Although me and my big brother Seto can eat anywhere we want, I haven't had a taste of Western stuff for a week.

"Alright I'm coming!" I replied. I briskly walked to my locker to put some books inside.

When I arrived at my locker, I saw Lucchi talking to some girls in pigtails that remind me a lot of that girl my brother hates. I couldn't remember who for a fact that he seems to hate everyone related to Yugi. Oh well.

I bent down, since my locker isn't that high. If it got any higher, it would probably be unreachable to me.

It seemed to take me forever to get that stupid lock open! Darn! Did I forget the code? Nah I couldn't! I was trained by my big brother not to forget! Well except some incidents with kitchen work where my brother denies the existence of certain pictures with the blender. He's funny that way! Funny big brother…

_19 left, 5 right, another turn here…_

Arrgh! I can't get it open! I knew I should've just followed my brother's advice to replace this stupid thing with a more advanced thumbprint scanner! Although that would be cool, I didn't want to seem cocky. Everyone else at school uses this lo-tech, little…-ahem-, lock so I shouldn't be a exception just because I'm the brother of one of the most powerful men in economy!

Boy that didn't sound like I was defending this lock…

Anyway, Lucchi didn't seem to mind that I took a long time. Still chatting…

Then all of a sudden, these bigger kids were right beside me, opening their lockers…standing up…Bigger kids get all the luck.

Just as I was about to open this locker, one of them, a guy, spoke up.

"So did you like, make out with her last week?"

_Make Out? What's make out? Some sort of make-up remover? I thought to myself as I started to take interest in their conversation. _

"Dude it was awesome! The feeling was like, intense! You get it dude? I felt so alive!"

_How can you feel alive with make-up remover? Are these people what my brother tells me to stay away from? What was it again…homo…homo…homo something… _

"Look don't stray into details! It's not like you did something right?"

"Well, actually…"

_Something and actually huh? What did these guys kill or something? _

"Well…what? You like…Really?"

_This suspense is killing me. Really it is. WHAT IS?_

"You got some real testosterone dude! Did it like feel like…anything?"

_What's testosterone? And what do they mean like it felt like anything? This is so werid but something's making me want to hear more! _

"Like thanks dude! Nothing…I kinda forgot.."

"Well thanks for sparing me the details at least! Did you use 'one'? I mean a condom?"

_Whoa. What's a condom? Isn't that like, an apartment or something? I knew it! They DID kill someone! _

"Yeah dude! No duh! Flavored with mint!"

_Huh? Flavored with mint..? Apartments aren't flavored…_

I decided to jot down these 'words' unknown to me and figure out what they meant.

"So you really did it? You like…"

_What..? What did you do?_

"Yup believe it! I… "

_You…? YOU…!_

_I was at the tip of my pencil, trying to jot down the word that spreads me curiosity. _

"Well..?"

_SPIT…_

"I…..had…."

_IT…_

"S--"

_OUT!_

_**RINGGGGG!**_

"MOKUBA! LETS GO! ITS RECESS! THE BELL ALREADY RUNG!"

"GAH!"

I fell down my bum when I heard that stupid bell. The guys left and now I unconsciously jotted down the word. I was so relieved that I wrote down the word that I jumped up and ran towards Lucchi.

I can't wait to ask my big brother about these!

END OF CHAPTER

**How Do You Think Seto Kaiba Will React When he Hears these 'words' from Mokuba? Find Out at the next chapter of "A Guy To Guy Talk!"**

**See Yah! XD**


	2. If Big Brother Knew Everything

**Disclaimer- **Must I repeat myself every chapter? I don't own YGO! Duel Monsters. Never will…Maybe in the next 6 weeks when I get help from evil, demented, rapping, grey pixies. (I've have been watching too many Fairly Odd Parents. Seriously. XD)

**Chapter Summary- **Mokuba comes home with words that may not be a 'perfect tune' in his brother's ears! What will happen when Mokuba gets the chance to ask these questions to Seto Kaiba, the CEO of KaibaCorp? And what if he doesn't? Who shall he turn too now?

**Rating- **_PG 13. If you can't take any strong health involved words and some Tea bashing, as well as -coughjoeycough- bashing… -ahem-…. Please go back and read yet another Tea scripted friendship speeches. . _

**A/N: **Thanks for those 5 that reviewed! Well I make that my policy in every story. If I get 5 reviews, I shall post! And what do you know? I do have 5! Yehey! I really enjoy writing so it means a lot to me that people ACTUALLY READ my crap. Just kidding. XDXD

Thanks to those who reviewed and hopefully WILL review!

Remember the rules! No Flaming! I take good, constructive criticism and reviews. Arigato!

PS. The reviewers that reviewed me are the ff:

Draco's Daughter- teeheee…Oh yeah…-evil laughter- 

**Tiffanylicis- thanks for reading! **

**Frogger666- My friend, you just read my mind didn't you? I was writing this chapter and I decided to check my reviews. Lo and Behold, you said COFFEE. The exact thing I—never mind. Hahahahahaha! Thanks for your review and you and me think alike. XD**

**FireDragonSpirit- yes that would be funny, spending all his time making diagrams for Moki. XD thanks agan!**

**CorpseBrideEmily- really? I thought I was an amateur! Thanks! I'm glad you liked it! **

Arigato to you all! ON WITH THE FIC!

PSS: Some OOC ness may apply. Don't like? Don't read! Applies here. Arigato.

If My Big Brother Knew Everything… 

_(3rd person POV) _

It was 12 o clock. For some reason, the Elementary Department closed for the day to rid the grounds of unnecessary "junk". Seemed like ruffians from higher batches went loose and created havoc among the lower batches, causing kids to think that boogeyman IS real and will haunt them unless they sacrifice their 'evil' money to a god statue made from trash.

This was a good opportunity for Mokuba Kaiba, brother of famous CEO Seto Kaiba, owner of KaibaCorp, to call home and actually get home. His curiosity always got the best of him. Like the time Pegasus invited the brothers for a tour of his Funny Bunny Exhibit, not realizing that Mokuba was a boy.

There, Moki quickly became involved as to why Pegasus is buying cartoon-involved stuffed animals. His rich! He could buy the cartoon!

So Moki hacked into Pegasus' command computer and checked with why he wouldn't buy the cartoon.

Just as he was about to type in the password, a picture of Pegasus half naked surrounded by poles that were pink and a forest of Funny Bunny toys holding whips wearing black leather appeared on the screen….

…moving…

Mokuba, of course, consulted his big brother. And just as he was about to close the window, Seto came rushing in. Of course, he was afraid Pegasus tricked him so he could capture Mokuba and make him some sort of Funny Bunny model. So to prove him wrong, Pegasus came in too.

And what welcomed them was Seto's wide-eyed expression, Mokuba's shouting for answers and Pegasus hyper ventilating asking his 'butler' who was a coat stand by the way, for some wine and his favorite Funny Bunny Fruity Tutty DVD episode.

Sure, that incident left the two brothers' completely scarred for the rest of their rich lives but hey! Lesson learned!

…Never trust a fruitcake to invite you to his house for an "exhibition".

Mokuba was with Lucchi the whole time they were staying in this room facilitated by the faculty. They weren't supposed to go out but Mokuba had to call his brother to pick him up.

"So, how is it being rich Moki?" asked Lucchi. He was eyeing Moki like his idol, which he actually is.

"Hmmm…I dunno. It's okay I guess…" answered Mokuba as he dialed on the pay phone. "I'm not that special Lucchi! I'm just like everybody else!" he added.

Lucchi blinked and laughed. Mokuba stared at him and asked, "What's so funny? I really am!" With that, Lucchi laughed even harder, causing stares from everyone in the hallway.

"Y-You…-laughter-…l-li-li-like…-more laughter-…e-e-ev-every-o-one…-pause, then laughter once more-….ELSE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAAHAHHAAHHAAHHA! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Mokuba was looking at Lucchi like he was a freak. He was making a scene, and scenes are not what the name "KAIBA" needs.

"Lucchi!" whispered Mokuba. "Stop…making….a…scene..!"

"But Moki," answered Lucchi. "If you were, as you say, like everyone else, then you wouldn't worry about 'making a scene'!"

Mokuba sighed and dialed the number to their mansion. "Look, maybe you are right. But you don't have to laugh out loud!" He put the phone to his ears and whispered as he heard Seto's secretary on.

"Hello, KaibaCorp, what can I do for you?" said the secretary.

"Hi, this is…" said Mokuba as he looked up and down, left and right, looking if any press was in the room. He sighed of relief and continued. "Mokuba…"

"Why do you have to whisper whenever you say your name?" asked Lucchi. Mokuba was almost finished with his call, thanks to the secretary's hyper fast connections to her boss.

"Because…"replied Mokuba. "…Yes…please do…thanks. Say hi to my brother. Bye…"

"Well..?" asked Lucchi again.

"BECAUSE! If the press finds out I study here, they're gonna flood the mansion and ask my brother millions of questions!" answered Mokuba as he frantically hid himself in his cap.

"Oh…so that's why…well anyway….like I said…you aren't like everyone so--"

"Hey! I said I was!" shouted Mokuba as they started to walk outside, ignoring their teacher's warning earlier.

"Moki, we all know that isn't true. Look!" said Lucchi, pointing to a puddle of water outside the gates.

Mokuba walked over to the puddle and saw himself, hiding under his blue cap. "You're different in a way Moki. We all are." Said Lucchi.

"Then how am I different if we're all different too?" asked Mokuba.

"You're different DIFFERENT. Get it? It's not everyday that you become the brother of the CEO of KaibaCorp you know!" answered Lucchi in a simple-as-that tone of voice.

Mokuba frowned at his reflection. It seemed like he was telling the truth.

I'm not different… 

"Oops! Gotta go Moki! Bus is here! See yah!" said Lucchi. Both bid their farewells as Mokuba continued to stare at his reflection.

Am I? 

Mokuba sat down at a bench nearby and thought of what he could do to prove he wasn't that different.

What can I do? 

He thought deeply until..

"DUDE! Like, how long has IT BEEN?"

He heard male voices just beyond the gates. To his surprise, it was the boys that gave him those words!

They continued there conversation and as they did, Mokuba realized that they used more deep words than he got!

Then it suddenly hit him.

_If I can't prove I'm not different in that way…than I can if I found out what these words mean and tell them to Lucchi! That way, I'm no different! I'm even mature at that point, since older kids are saying them! _

Mokuba nodded and headed home, his limo waiting for him at front.

Watch out Lucchi! I'll show you…I'll show you all! I'm not that different! 

Mokuba ran towards Seto's office room like thunder and lightning. He couldn't wait for him to ask these questions!

He dashed into Seto's office and asked the secretary if he was busy.

"No, he isn't busy at the time Mokuba. You can visit him." Answered the secretary. Mokuba was overjoyed! He quickly said thanks and dashed faster than ever, holding his paper pad.

He slowly walked in a huge door and while he was, he was checking his list which contained the ff:

**Make-Out **_some sort of make-up remover (?) _

**Testosterone**_ an energy drink maybe? Maybe Gatorade made it. (?) Said to give energy._

**Condom **_a flavored apartment (?)_

He finally made something out of the smudges he papered. The last word was…

**Sex **?

"I wonder what it means…" thought Mokuba as he got closer to Seto's table.

_Meanwhile.._

"I told Roland about it. Just ask him and bring in a coffee. Not decaf got it?"

Seto Kaiba was on a phone call with his assistant and asked to be brought coffee. Nothing like a good day at work.

As he turned around, Mokuba, his brother was there holding a notepad.

"Hey Moki. How was school today—"

"BIG BROTHER!" shouted Mokuba as he interrupted Seto's sentence. "W-what is it?" stammered Seto. Isn't it fun to see him stammer?

Mokuba had a serious look on his face, so Seto was worried.

"What's wrong Mokuba? Did something happen?" asked Seto as he stood up his chair and walked over Mokuba.

Mokuba's head was down and he suddenly looked at Seto and said, "Seto I have a question."

"Oh. For a second there I thought that you were gonna tell me something I wouldn't lik—"

Seto's eyes suddenly became bigger. Did this day he dreaded come? Did the day his brotherly instincts were going to be put to test? Was he going to ask that dreaded question..?

WAS HE? 

Seto gulped and asked Moki to take a seat. "So…Mokuba…" said Seto as he lightened his tie. "Don't worry Seto! I'm not in trouble! Look, I just wanna ask you these questions I heard from school—"

Seto's heart raced. School. _That _question. _"They're related…Crap…" _thought Seto. The moment he heard the word 'school', he stood up and said "OH LOOK! I have MAIL! Look Moki, I would love to stay and chat but I've got mail! Oh goody.." in a sarcastic voice.

"Don't worry! I won't take much of your time! I promise! It's just a few questions!" said Mokuba as he followed Seto to his desk.

"_CRAP! He wont LEAVE!" _thought Seto. Sweat was trickling down his face and Moki could see that. "Is it hot brother?" asked Mokuba.

"N-no…I-I'm fine…-clears throat-…I'm fine Mokuba. Now if you'll excuse me I have work—"

Mokuba was getting tired of this and frustrated at that. He wanted answers…NOW. So he shouted the question so loud it could have been heard in Canada.

"SETO, WHAT DOES S—" 

Seto knew what Mokuba was up to and in a frantic state of franticness, he shouted and pointed at the door louder than Moki…

"**OH LOOK! ITS MY COFFEE ROLAND BROUGHT ME! YOU KNOW HOW I LIKE COFFEE RIGHT MOKI! IT'S TIME TO GET MY COFFEE…" **said Seto as he coolly yet robotically walked to the door.

Mokuba turned around and saw nothing. No one too. Was his brother delusional?

"Seto, no one's there…" said Mokuba. Seto was aware of the fact that no one was there and was making a complete fool of himself, since the staff members were staring at Seto's head out the door.

"_They heard it…Damn" _thought Seto. How was he gonna get out of this?

"Relax, Seto…You're overreacting…It could be ANY word….ANY word at all…" he whispered to himself as he closed the door slowly and faced Mokuba.

"…ANY WORD…." He whispered again. Once he was in range, Mokuba ran towards him and asked again..

"So Seto, what does—"

"ANY WORD…" thought Seto as he felt his sweat dripping down his neck.

"Big brother are you listening to me?" asked Mokuba. "Y-yes…M-Mokuba.." answered Seto, unaware that he wasn't really listening to it.

…trying to anyway…

"_What the hell am I gonna do? I'm not ready for this yet! Dammit where the hell did he hear this 'word'? I'll kill that person! KILL HIM! I hope it's Tea then…Yeah…That frantic spastic little… _

As Seto was reassuring himself that Tea told Moki those words, Mokuba really thought that Seto was listening so he asked again…

"Seto! What does—"

Seto finally snapped back to his senses and knew it was coming again. _"I've got to stall him!" _he thought. He rushed outside and shouted,

"**ROLAND WHATS TAKING THAT COFFEE!" **

This time more people stared at their lunatic boss. He was shouting at the stairs..

"Is…he…still…there…?" said Seto to himself, glancing back at Mokuba. To his unfortunate demise, yes he was still there.

"What the hell am I gonna do!" shouted Seto. Right now, half of the office population thinks Seto is wacked.

Seto walked back to his office, more sweat dripping down. "ANY WORD AT ALL…" he thought again. But when he saw Mokuba's head in the doorway waiting for him he thought..

"_any word….beginning with an 's'…" _

He gulped and finally lost it. He had a list! Mokuba had a list!

"_Holy Son of A Ra… He's got a list…" _he thought in fear. How could he face his only brother's 'mature' questions?

"I'm being paranormal…" said Seto. "I don't even know if it's THAT he's gonna ask about! I've got to stand strong! It's not like he will…ask….that…."

As he drew closer, he's coffee finally arrived and he told Mokuba to sit down and continue as he sipped he's coffee.

"So Moki, what was it you were going to ask…?" said Seto as he blowed his coffee. Mokuba was overjoyed again and he took out his list, which caused Seto to get nervous again.

"_Here we go…" _he thought as he bit his cookie.

"Wow! Where should I start?" asked Mokuba, scanning through his pad. Seto thought, "this is not good…"

"So, how bout this!" said Mokuba. "So Seto,"

_I can Do this…_

"…what does…"

_I CAN DO THIS… _thought Seto as he slowly raised his cup to his lips and sipped, the warm coffee rushing through his throat.

"…hmmm…I'll ask the word I'm most curious about…what does..."

_I…_

"s--"

"…CAN'T DO IT! RAHHHH!"

Seto screamed in frustration and spilled some of his coffee on his white coat. "Big brother! I know you can't take coffee that well but hear me out before you break into a fret…"

"Okay…Moki I…" said Seto as he sipped his coffee again. He was crazy! Moki asking what 'that' meant was a million to one! He had to relax and get some sleep.

"So Seto, what does sex mean?" asked Mokuba and just as he said it, Seto's eyes opened so widely, his heart raced loudly and he spit out his hot coffee on Mokuba.

This was it. It was judgment day on whether Seto Kaiba…

…._could take the responsibility as Moki's proper brother. _

END OF CHAPTER

**Mokuba finally asked Seto about it! But how will our CEO face the pressure of trying to explain to Moki that what he's asking isn't the question Seto is ready for? And why is Seto suddenly ordering mountains of Oprah, Linda and Richard Eyre books? Find out in the next chapter of "A Guy To Guy Talk!"**

**BYE BYE! **


	3. Why Are You Inviting Your Friends?

**Disclaimer: **Alright. ALRIGHT! Sheesh, I'll say it! Thank YOU lawyers…-ckears throat-…AHEM…I do not own YGO! Duel Monsters or any other anime for that matter. Happy? HAPPY! -ahem-

**Chapter Summary: **Mokuba spit the question out and Seto's having a harder time trying to explain! But will Mokuba be satisfied with the answers our poor yet steaming hot CEO give? And who can help Seto with his 'problem'?

**Rating: **_PG 13. For those with naïve minds and Seto-like reflexes, please leave now. Don't want to spoil those jeans from coffee now, do we? _

**A/N: **Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I will mention them later on. And is it me or is it when I italicize words or sentences in Microsoft, it won't appear on the uploaded document in Just in case that happens…

-_words in between these mean they are italicized- _

Here are some reviewers:

**Tragic Princess- hehe…I'm glad I could make you laugh! I didn't know I actually could but hey! Thanks for your review!**

**Escape-from-Reality- oh don't die on me now! I'll lose a reviewer! Nah, I'm just kidding! Hehe thanks! **

**Draco's Daughter- oh believe me, Seto's gonna get himself more embarrassed. Although as a Seto fan, it –sniff, sniff- hurts so much to write him making a fool of himself but HEY! That's what I gotta do! Arigato for your review**!

**Frogger666- Oh god YOU ARE READING MY MIND! Well that or my fic is easy to read…Anyway…you practically know what I'm gonna do now so…mwahahahaha! Except though…never mind that was a good one… Pegasus…. Thanks for your review!**

**Amber-Kaiba- no need to beg cuz it's right here! Kidding, kidding…thanks for your review!**

**Keruha Digifox****- arigato! Sometimes when I write something, I kinda laugh at it too! Arigato again!**

Thanks you guys! I never expected to even get past 5 reviews! Hope you enjoy this chapter. ON WITH THE FIC!

P.S. If you got confused with the "Linda and Richard Eyre" comment I put on the last chapter, they are authors of the book "How To Talk To Your Child About Sex". Yeah how'd I find that out? Simple. My mom has one in the shelf next to the computer. Hard not to notice. XD

No flaming! Remember, everyone if not loves, needs, constructive criticism. Reviews are good too. XD

…

_-Why is Big Brother Inviting His "Friends"?-_

_-(3rd person POV)-_

…

-_Last we saw of the two brothers…_-

"So Seto, what does sex mean?" asked Mokuba and just as he said it, Seto's eyes opened so widely, his heart raced loudly and he spit out his hot coffee on Mokuba.

This was it. It was judgment day on whether Seto Kaiba…

…._could take the responsibility as Moki's proper brother. _

…

Seto Kaiba, was in a glitch.

A really, REALLY bad glitch. Not like glitches are okay or anything. It's just that he wasn't used to 'glitches' outside the computer. Nonetheless, a few glitches could NEVER stop the great Seto Kaiba right? I mean, it hasn't stopped him before! And look at his position in society now? He's one of the most respected, famous and well-versed man in the economy! No few glitches could stop Kaiba's reign, right?

…wrong…

Right now, the only glitch he has yet to fix is the stupid questions his brother might ask him. And he already started the barricade! Only time will tell if our dear CEO will make it out alive…

…hopefully he will stand a chance on Moki's reign of evil innocence! "Bro-brother! Y-yuck..!" said Mokuba, wiping his face and hair with his jacket's sleeve. Coffee and saliva are NOT a good mix.

Seto was in a hysterical state of hystericalness. His brother DID ask that question. HE DID ASK IT. His heart was pounding strongly and his blood was boiling with nervousness. Could he give the answers Moki is looking for? Hopefully so, but his isn't in a good state right now. I mean, he works his own company! He hasn't got time for reading some stupid version of Oprah's books explaining how to tell your child, or in this case, brother, about the dreaded "s word!"

When Seto finally came back to his senses, he saw Mokuba still trying to remove the liquid from his face. "M-Mokuba..! I-m sorry! I-I think..th-the coffee was… -clears throat- too hot..Sorry Mokuba.." said Seto, facing Mokuba's now dry face.

"That's okay big brother!" answered cheerful Mokuba. _–"I bet now he's thinking that I'm gonna answer his damn question… dammit…I really aren't ready for this yet…"- _ thought Seto eying his brother ever so nervously.

"What now Kaiba..?" he whispered to himself as Mokuba looked at his brother for an answer.

"Well big brother? What does it mean?" he asked him again. Seto was still in deep thought. He couldn't think of a way to explain to Mokuba the…uh… "process" of it!

Mokuba was still getting frustrated. Why wasn't Seto answering his question?

"Brother! I don't have all day right now! Please answer my question! Pretty please!" shouted Mokuba, slamming his fists on Seto's mahogany table with determined eyes.

Seto shook his head and faced his way-too-curious brother, gulping yet somehow, a lump formed in there preventing his gulp.

-_"Crap! What now?"_- thought Seto. He didn't know how to stall! Mostly his employees were the ones stalling for HIM! Not the other way around!

"I should have paid more attention to that Oprah show when I flipped the channels!" whispered Seto. "What was that brother?" asked Mokuba, hopefully finding an answer.

"whatnowwhatnowwhatnowwhatnowwhatnowwhatnowwhatnowwhatnow!" stammered Seto as he started walking around his office looking out the window as he passed.

Mokuba was getting more curious by the second. Why would his brother be so nervous? I mean Seto did mention that HE DID know EVERYTHING. So why was it so hard for him to answer?

"Uh…big brother…" asked Mokuba. Seto turned around and said "W-what I-is it M-M-Mokuba?"

-_"Maybe I need to make myself more clear…"_- thought Moki. "Brother I'll repeat the question for you then, you might not have heard it--"

As soon as he heard this, Seto blurted out, "NO! MOKI I'LL ANSWER JUST DON'T REPEAT THE QUESTION!"

Mokuba's eyes filled with joy as soon as he heard this whereas Seto hit himself on the head realizing what he just said. He was to afraid the hear the question again that he unconsciously said that to Moki.

-_"Dammit I'm getting myself into more trouble than Mokuba brought in!"_- he thought, sweating more than ever now.

"So big brother!" said Mokuba approaching Kaiba. "Tell me…" he continued.

-_"Isn't there a way out of this?"_- he thought, scanning his eyes around to find anything he can stall with.

"…what does it mean..?"

-_"I cant be doomed! I-I'm Seto KAIBA! I-I…"_-

"Well big brother?"

-_"I…I…"_-

"C'mon tell me!"

-_"Hell yeah I'm doomed…"_-

"LOOK Mokuba..to tell you the truth..I…" said Seto as he approached his brother.

Just then, at that critical moment, his secretary came inside and said,

"Mr. Kaiba, I hope I'm not interrupting anything but--"

Kaiba quickly saw his chance and, like lightning, blurted out, "YES! YESSSS! I NEED YOU TO SEND TWNETY COPIES TO THE MACHINE ROOM AT ONCE! DON'T FORGET TO BOLD THE PRINT AND GET ME A NEW COAT! OKAY BYE NOW!" while he pushed piles of random paper on the floor to his secretary and pushed her out the door as quickly as possible, all while he still looked cool and collected. (How DOES he do it?)

Mokuba was staring in awe at how quick his brother reacts.

Seto was silently gasping and as he turned around, his secretary came bursting in again, carrying several large piles of paper.

"Mr. Kaiba, are you sure I wasn't interrupting you--"

Kaiba saw his chance again since he quickly realized that he shouldn't have pushed her out. She could have been his decoy!

So to make up for it..

"OH NO! YOU WERENT INTERRUPTING AT ALL…" he said in a hard tone of voice and tried to force a smile on his face.

"A-are you sure Mr. Kaiba--"

"**YES IM SURE SO WHY DON'T YOU STAY HERE AND CHAT WITH MY WONDERFUL BROTHER WHEREAS I, THE BOSS GO TO MY –_MEETING, wink wink_- AND WONT BE BACK TILL LATER…" **shouted Seto so fast that neither his secretay nor Mokuba could respond.

And as Kaiba straightened his tie and walked out the door, he added,

"MUCH LATER.." and slowly walked out.

Just then, Mokuba frowned and ran up to his brother, "Wait! You still haven't answered my question--"

Seto, the quick reflex guy he is, rapidly wrote down a check from his pocket and pushed it too Mokuba saying in a faster tone of voice that you could hardly understand,

"Lookmokubaineedtogoinameetinganditsgonnastartinfiveminutesandyouknowhowbusyiamsobuysomethingniceforyourslefandgodosomesortofplayfulcrapwhichallyoulittlebuggersgdonowadaysbyenowmokitakecareandiloveyouinabrotherlysortofwaythathasnoapplicationtoanydisgustiingpicturesiseeonthewww!"

Mokuba stared hardly at his brother, or more importantly, at what he said while Seto gasped for air. After five minutes of Seto gasping to breathe, his secretary staring idly by, SOS-ing her co-officemates about Seto's strange wacked out behavior and Mokuba deciphering what Seto said, they finally got out of it.

"So Moku--" started Seto but was soon disrupted by Mokuba.

"W-wait! B-before you say anything else, I'm still at 'five minneys!'" said Mokuba pointing to air in front of him like he was making a jigsaw puzzle.

"Oh wait! Five MINUTES! Sorry brother…" said Mokuba smiling idly by while Seto shook his head.

"Okay, Mokuba, listen, I really don't have time for this so…" continued Seto but as he tried to lie about his answer, Mokuba unleashed his secret weapon…

…deadlier than Osama Bin Laden….

…scarier than The Ring…

…it was…

…the PUPPY DOG POUT!

-_"Oh…CRAP…."_-

Mokuba was puppy pouting, serious as ever. (Although it's hard to see the seriousness in his expression…)

Seto's eyes were twitching and out of nowhere, "aww!"'s and "ohhh!"'s came bursting through the room.

-_"Must…resist….damn….so…hard….to…resist….damn….you…."_- thought Seto as he difficulty tried to stop himself from answering the main question.

"ARGHHH!" screamed Seto. Mokuba broke the pout and everything went like Seto planned. Yup, he planted the fake scream so as to fool Mokuba that he WOULD answer the question thus breaking the pout.

Seto smirked and Mokuba, finally realizing his brother's plan frowned again and attempted to do it again but this time, Seto was ready.

He grabbed his secretary by the arms (lucky little…), facing Mokuba and used her as his human shield.

"M-Mr. Kai-Kaiba..!" stammered his secretary. "I-I..c-cant..! OHH! I-I'm ma-mar-married..! AHHH!"

Seto rolled his eyes behind her back (literally) and thought to himself, -"_Remind me to fire her after this…_"-

"Shut up woman and protect me!" shouted Seto as he closed his eyes, trying to protect himself from falling for Mokuba's trap.

Mokuba could see that this was leading him nowhere so he stopped, since the secretary was too caught up in daydreaming.

Seto dropped his secretary down and pushed her aside facing Mokuba.

"Big brother! Why wont you answer my…question….-sniff,sniff-" said Mokuba, his eyes getting teary eyed.

_-"This outta make him spit it out!"- _thought Mokuba, continuing his fake cry. Seto, the tough guy as we know him, is actually starting to FALL for it. (Poor Seto…)

"Moki…It's not as if I don't want to answer it…" answered Seto as he thought -"_Actually I don't but…_"- "Moki..I…" he continued.

Then it hit him.

He saw a picture on his wall, of Yugi's poorly drawn features holding a Dark Magician card surrounded by thousands of tooth picks and sharp pencils. He was surrounded too by his friends, Tea, Joey, Tristan, Duke, Mai and Bakura.

…obviously he was using those for stress relieving purposes and dart practice but it hit him anyway!

-_"As much as my pride hurts me…"_- thought Seto, gulping along the away. –_"I'm too desperate…"_-

Seto was determined to buy time. He himself didn't know how to explain it to Mokuba PLUS, he's got a LIST which determines the possibility of MORE absurd questions. He had to be ready..! But right now, he was far from it.

"You…" said Seto in his usual stern voice as he pointed to his love struck middle aged secretary.

"Hmm..oh! Yes, Mr. Kaiba..?" she replied, glitter in her eyes.

"C-Call…" he said. "C-Call….Y-Y-u—u…"

"Mr. Kaiba, I can't hear you…" said his secretary. She stood up and put the piles of paper on the floor as she approached her boss, striking her ears nearer so she could hear.

"C-C-C-all…Y-Y-Y-u-u-g-g-g-g—g…." continued Seto, with disgust lingering in his voice and face, the very mention of 'his name' for help burns Seto's insides with acid and a deep hatred burns even more.

"Ca….llll….whoooo….?" mimicked Seto's secretary in a voice that felt like Seto was a two year old being taught the alphabet. Yup, THAT slow.

"Y-Y-Y-uuuuu……G-G-G-iiiiiiii……"

"Yu-----Chiiiiiii….?" Said his secretary trying to make out what Seto's saying.

Again, with more disgust than ever, Seto repeated it,

"YUUUUU----GIIIIIIIII…."

"Yuuu….Riiiii..?" asked his secretary as she put HER version of disgust. "Yuri? Sir you watch--"

Seto was tired of this and as much as it hurt him, he had NO CHOICE…

"**CALL THE DAMN YUGI YOU DUMB DAYDREAMING PIECE OF…!" **shouted Seto, his anger burning through his veins. As soon as he got his cool back, he sighed and fixed his hair and in a calmer manner,

"Call Yugi. Tell him to meet me. NOW.." he said.

Both Moki and the sect. (I'm tired of writing SECRETARY all the time) were surprised. As both know, Seto hated Yugi.

"Brother…? Are you okay..? You're scaring me…" said Mokuba.

"But..Sir…you told me to erase all traces of Yugi or anyone related to Yugi--"

"I KNOW!" shouted Seto. "I know. But call him anyway! LOOK! I've got his Ra-damned phone number…"

Mokuba was really scared now. Seto had Yugi's, scratch, YUGI's phone number? He knew that Seto needed a love life but…Yugi..?

Mokuba was putting on lousy faces trying to figure out the theory of how that happened and Seto was there to answer it.

"Look, it goes way back Mokuba…"

FLASHBAAACCCKKK… 

_-Tea was screaming at the top of her lungs at the classroom, handing out pink scented cards that had hers, Yugi's, Joey's, Bakura's, Tristan's and Duke's phonenumbers on. _

"_C'mon everyone! Call us and be our friend!" she shouted throwing the cards everywhere she trotted like petals in a wedding. And everytime the cards touched the ground, a part of the floor would melt… _

"_Don't be shy now! FRIENDSHIP RULLLEEESSS!" screamed Tea, like a wrestler and continued to frolic throwing cards._

_Meanwhile, girls got mostly Duke's number and erased the others' name, Seto was trying hard not to fall on the potholes the cards made and unfortunately landed one to himself, thanks to Bakura.._

"_Wretched litte…" he mumbled and disgustingly picked it up with his fingers, eyeing from afar and no matter how he threw it away, whether by burning it by fire or by acid, it KEPT OCMING BACK._

_He had no choice but to put it in his wallet. His OTHER wallet, the really bad looking one, the one he would give to kidnappers and robbers when they asked for his wallet. The other one was he's designer wallet, where he kept his money._

"_That's a real designer's wallet…I wont let a hole in it slide!" he said as he put the pink card inside his fake wallet. _

"_Let the damn robbers call you freaks!"-_

END FLASHBACKKKKK… 

"Ohhhh…I see…" said Mokuba. He sighed with relief and wiped his forehead. Seto grabbed his rotten old fake wallet and carefully, put a mask on, got his tweezers, put gloves on and sanitized himself, as if we was going to surgery and opened the wallet, pink steam flowing out breathing cologne ala Tea.

"Ughh…" grouched Seto, carefully taking out the card from his wallet and dropping it on hard metal where parts of it melted. He looked at the wallet and it had already a whole on a side.

"Freaks…" he sighed and saw the number and gave it to his secretary.

Mokuba, sat down for a while and drew pictures and ate some candy (Good luck later on Seto) while Seto sat down and breathed heavily.

Right now he had to do 3 horribly hard things.

Call YUGI.

Call YUGI

Explain to Moki what "that" meant

He looked at his clock which stroked 3 o clock and looked outside, This was really it. _–IT WAS TIME…-_

_-Time for he's demise I mean…- _

END OF CHAPTER

**Seto is doing the unthinkable and calling Yugi for help! But what can Yugi possibly do to help when he's as helpless as Kaiba? Or is Kaiba just buying time so he can think? And what if Mokuba finds out? Who're you gonna call! Find out in the next chapter of "A Guy to Guy Talk"!**

**Ja Ne! **


End file.
